As I approach the age of 18, my foster care journey is coming to an end. In my next few blogs, I would like to write about my journey from the year. I was taken into care right up to the present and then on to my future plans.
Year one- How it all started. I remember some elements of being taken into care, I was six years of age, yes it was traumatic because at six you don’t really understand what and why it’s happening, after years of talking and some therapy I came to terms with and accepted what happened. Here is my first year in care. It was 2013.
I was taken into care with my sisters who were younger than me, my first looked after family was a very busy household and not a good match, I obviously did not know at the time I had a diagnosis, so the world was a frightening place, I used to lose myself in books and preferred not to speak but to use signs for what I wanted, I do remember having a feeling of anger inside me and I lashed out as I could not talk about how I was feeling and did anyone want to listen? I remember this family took me on holiday to Weston Super Mare and they said they had to come back early because my behaviour was out of control!! My question now is how out of control can I scared, preferred not to speak 6-year-old be, yes, I was angry but knowing what I know now it was a plea for help. The rules and boundaries in the household were unlimited, no body understood me. I had come from an unsuitable environment for a child I did not know any different. Then the people in my life, social workers, guardians, school, and social workers decided I needed to be in a placement on my own, so I was moved. I remember meeting my new and still with looked after family, they seemed kind and bought me a present. I went to my bedroom and put some things in a bin liner for then to take back with them. Time to move – November 2014, a new journey, the day came to move, I was picked up by my social worker on a Friday, so I had time to settle in over a weekend. The house was in the countryside, and it was peaceful and quiet, I had my own bedroom, everything was different, the first night I was scared, and I cried but I was comforted and had a story read to me and a song sang to me until I fell asleep (this had never happened before) I was still going to my original school which was 35 minutes away, but I remember there was a lot of road works and it took over an hour to get there. I had contact with my birth family three times a week and therapy twice a week. Looking back, it was way too much for a six year old. Christmas was coming I remember the build up there was a lot of excitement and decorations in the house, on Christmas morning I didn’t like most children wake early because I wasn’t sure what to expect but was i surprised, I walked into the living room and there was a huge pile of presents and footprints leading from the chimney all round the room, I have been told that my first words on that Christmas morning were, he really has been, (meaning Santa) my main present was a bike a brand new sparkling bike. My thoughts were I’m going to like it here. Maybe because of all the presents being six that is important but more importantly I felt safe. Year two to follow.
The Nameless Onion.
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