Young D had settled in well as we knew he would do. Being the holiday period we were trying hard to organise activities for D, out own 2 boys and the babies. We were lucky that we had quite a few local amenities so the three boys were pretty easily sorted. We had them booked into a week’s worth of football coaching courtesy of our local professional club. I would take them and collect them whilst the better half sorted the babies. We would then go out somewhere with the little ones or simply relax and get the household chores completed. The boys were enjoying the football, it gave them a lot of exercise and tired them out, always a positive. The wife and I knew that the holiday period wouldn’t give us a lot of time to relax but we were no different to any other worker, so we just got on with it. My step daughter was our nominated carer so we took advantage of that one evening and went out for a ‘date night’ dinner and film. It was nice being able to sit and chat, without interruption or a baby crying. You have to remember, as Foster Carers, that you still need ‘you time’ and the chance to be grown ups from time to time. Self care is very important. It is very easy to allow, being a Foster Carer, take over your whole life. But, equally important, is your own physical and mental health. Being a Foster Carer can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster so it’s important to take some down time and talk to each other on a regular basis, preferably about anything other than Fostering. I always found that the end of a placement was the most emotional time. In some cases it would be upsetting when a young person moved on, especially the very young where you have fed them, changed them and been awake in the middle of the night with them. You feel happy for them if they are being adopted but sad that they are leaving after the amount of care you have given them. There are, of course, some placements you cannot wait to see the back of. It’s rarely their fault that you do not bond with them but generally their behaviour is learnt from their parents and it’s very hard to have a positive relationship with some parents regardless of how hard you try. There are many ways to cope with the end of a placement. The first is to take another placement as soon as possible and the second is to have a set time away from Fostering. We tried both. We were lucky enough to accept placements pretty much straight away as the Agency was so busy and we were able to take sibling groups. On the other hand it was nice to take a break, have time away, not just for you but for your family too. I cannot say which is best, it depends on you. But I would certainly try both and see what suits you and your situation.
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