A Fostering Journey 92

We received a call from the placement team asking if we could take a respite placement for a couple of weeks over the summer holidays. This is a young man, D, who we have looked after before on a respite. He is 12 and a really lovely lad who always fits into our family and routine. Although he is placed, through the agency, from a London Borough, he actually attends a school in the West Country and normally comes home and stays with family members during school holidays. However the family member he stays with, at holiday time, is ill and unable to provide that service. We checked with the Social Worker of the two babies, who was happy for us to provide respite to D. D arrived full of the joys and very happy to see us. He had his usual room and was happy to be with us. He told us all about how school was going and the new subjects he was learning. He was a very self sufficient lad and was always happy helping out with chores without having to be asked. He was very good with his personal hygiene and never had to be asked to wash, bathe or change his clothes. Setting out the house rules is an important topic to undertake pretty quickly. I normally do this at the first meal time. This should be done in a relaxed and friendly fashion whilst making sure the house rules are set out firmly. The rules revolve around boundaries and how those boundaries work as well as giving reasons why we have boundaries in place. A word that always comes up in those initial discussions is respect and it always surprises me how many young people understand the concept of respect and what it actually means. Enforcing those house rules has to be done with consistency and, if possible, with humour and a certain amount of firmness. Learn what works for the young person as different people respond to different methods. Observing and listening to young people is a huge part of being a Foster Carer. You won’t always get it right but getting to know how a young person reacts is a massive plus. So with your young person in your home you will know the background of why the young person is in care, what the school situation is and when, or if, contact is taking place. I tend to spend a lot of time with a new placement, getting to know them and finding out their likes and dislikes. After such a conversation I tend to make a few notes so I don’t forget and always have the notes to hand. Also find out what clothes have been brought and where the young person has shortages on their wardrobe. If you know how long the placement is going to last then you will have an idea of what new clothes are required. It is very important to involve your own children in the whole Fostering situation. If your own children live with you then they will play an important part in providing a safe environment for the young person in care. if your own children don’t live with you then they can still play an important part by regular visits and helping the young person become part of the family. A successful placement means a young person who feels happy and comfortable in your home and he or she feels that your home is their home, even for a short period of time.