We visited the hospital on two further occasions over the following week and were upset to find that no one had visited her, not Mum and not any other family member. We were allowed to take her out of the incubator to feed her and to give her some cuddles. She was tiny, as in really minute and I was really worried about breaking anything. However she was a beautiful little girl and we were looking forward to taking her home as soon as she reached that four pound mark. We spoke to the ward staff and made them aware of the situation, within the confines of confidentiality, and told them that we would be making regular visits prior to come home. We had taken up some more vests and baby grows which were marked as premature size and they still drowned her. The ward staff took our contact details in order to let us know if she needed anything else brought up. We left for home and it took us approximately an hour to get home. This was the only down side, the journey to the hospital and back and trying to find parking when we did get there. We then found out that there was a station nearby to the hospital which connected to a station near us so we decided that was the way forward. The little boy was beginning to settle into a routine. He was a great sleeper and he was feeding really well. We didn’t know what to do about his lazy eye and he was probably too young to take to an optician. It only affected him occasionally so we made sure the GP was aware of it and concentrated on maintaining his routine and feeding him properly. He was a handsome little fellow and family members and friends really took to him. He was of dual heritage but very light skinned. We went through the usual situation where people would look at both me and my wife, both white, and then look at the baby. We had got used to it over the years as we had fostered many young people who were of different ethnicity. A couple of days later we tried our first train journey to the hospital and it was much more fun and a lot less stressful. No traffic jams and no parking issues either. We stayed at the hospital for longer as we didn’t have to worry about the traffic on the way home. There was lots of cuddling and we enjoyed some food from the on site M&S. We finally left mid afternoon, prior to rush hour, and got home quickly. Yet again there had been no family visits and we updated the LA Social Worker and our own Supervising Social Worker. It made us feel unsettled that we couldn’t visit her every day and thinking of her alone in the ICU particularly upset my wife who would have been up there every day if she could. But she was getting closer to the magic 4lb mark and we knew that we had to be patient. This wasn’t our first new born, as Foster Carers, but it was our first premature new born and it was frustrating as we knew she would flourish being at our place. We also knew that it would mean sleepless nights for feeds and changes but you get used to that and work as a team to ensure that we can get enough sleep. Working as a couple is very important with smaller children.

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